America, but from another perspective

Everyone told me to expect reverse culture shock when I came back to America, but what does that even mean? I hate being under-prepared, so I listened intently to the advice of anyone who was willing to offer their input and took mental notes on everything they said. In addition, I scheduled a 10 day solo trip to Europe to decompress and reflect on my time overseas. While this time was very restful and fruitful, I was naive to think that I could process six months in Asia in just a few days in Europe. The exciting inevitable came, but when I touched down in America, I didn’t feel anything special, maybe just relief that I was finally back on familiar ground.

In the first week, I noticed things that had previously been familiar, but now stood out to me. I chalked it up to “reverse culture shock”, this is what I prepared for! I wanted to transition smoothly, while also taking advantage of this special opportunity to see my home country with new eyes. At first it was just little things, like noticing that there was no trash in the streets, or being a bit overwhelmed at grocery stores and the mall with all the different options.

As the jet lag wore off, I jumped back into my old, busy lifestyle. On my first full day back, I remember rattling off my schedule of errands to run, things to do, and people to see and my mom said, “Well, you did always like being busy!” My best friend echoed her, and I took it to mean that I was back to my old self. Maybe reverse culture shock wouldn’t hit me?

Yet I’m realizing that cultural differences have less to do with material things, and more to do with lifestyle differences. Something I’ve noticed is the train of questions people ask me are:

1. How was your trip?

2. How was the food?

3. What’s next for you?

I think these common questions reveal some things that Americans are interested in and value: facts, food, and the future. The hardest question for me to answer is always the last one. Here I am, fresh off the plane, and I’m somehow expected to know what I’m doing next? I felt ashamed that I didn’t have an exciting answer to this question. I wanted to say something impressive, like “I’m moving overseas!” or “My job starts next week!” But that hasn’t been my story.

Instead, I have felt the rush of the river that is American culture. I feel like I stepped off the plane into a quickly flowing stream; everyone around me is headed towards some goal, whether educational, professional, or relational. I felt like everyone around me was always rushing, and to keep up, I had to rush too. But I didn’t want to just keep up, I wanted to be ahead of everyone, I wanted to be impressive! Tonight though, I felt weighed down by all the transitions that have been taking place in my life lately. My emotions felt like weights that pulled me down in the river, and I felt like I couldn’t keep rushing along like everyone around me.

I took some time to be still with the Lord today, and as I went on a walk to process all these emotions, I felt like He asked me to slow down. Like physically, slow down. I realized even my pace was rushed! I had nowhere to be, I was just wandering around my neighborhood talking to Him, but here I was, still rushing. It hit me that one of the biggest characteristics in American culture that I had missed before, often attributing it to my own “go-getter” personality, is the pressure to constantly do. It’s not just my own desire to chase down my dreams, to achieve something impressive, it’s the cultural question of “What’s next?”

While this question can be a great motivator, it can also keep us very distracted from the present, and the presence of God. The Lord is teaching me in this season what it looks like to wait on the Lord. Sometimes I think that means simply slowing my pace down on a walk with Him, and other times I think it means canceling plans to have an evening to just breathe. It might even mean saying no to something good, so that I can live with some margin in my life.

After spending six months in a largely unrushed, relational culture, I am determined to carve out more time in my daily life to preserve the sense of peace I found in that slower lifestyle. I don’t want to miss the golden sun in the trees or the sound of the birds chirping because I’m too busy anxiously speed walking through life. Today, I invite you to join me in this journey of slowing down, of waiting for the Lord, of taking time to notice the details of His creation without worrying about “What’s next?”