First weeks overseas

Two weeks in Asia…two weeks of culture shock, exhaustion, over-stimulation, new friends, different sounds, smells, tastes, accents, and languages; one week of new experiences and nothing familiar but the presence of my Savior. Even that feels different here though. I think I had this expectation that I would touch down in this new country and immediately experience His presence and love in a new and tangible way. To be honest though, it has not exactly looked like that. His voice has been a quiet whisper, slowly crescendoing into the deeper-felt presence that I was expecting. My dependence and my awareness of His presence grow together.

The first few days here were overwhelming and incredibly lonely. I didn’t see or feel God here in this spiritually dark country, and every time a plane flew low over my new temporary home, I was jealous of the passengers. I thought that I would come to this new place and immediately fall in love with the people and places, but that has not been the case. I initially had to fight to find things to fill my gratitude list, and I have daily asked God to fill me with His love for this country and the people here. I do not naturally contain this love!

One of the main things that has been revealed to me these first few weeks in overseas missions is how much I still have to learn. Silly Alyssa thought she had it all figured out—I would go to this country, meet my husband, and decide to move here long-term in the first week. In reality, these weeks have taught me how little I actually know and how little I am in control. I have never been a “badeshi” (a foreigner) before. I have never been stared at the way I am here, as a 5’11” white female in a busy country of people a head shorter than me. I have never had to experience the frustration and loneliness of language barriers like I have here. I am already learning to empathize with the foreigners in my home country, I understand now a little bit of what that must be like.

Through all the transitions, the Lord has met me in beautiful and intimate ways. The first few days I didn’t feel His presence, but I also didn’t make much of an effort to reach out to Him. How am I expected to feel His presence if I never approach Him by way of the spiritual disciplines? As my dependence grew painfully aware, I have been brought to my knees every morning to ask for His daily bread. I know that without it, I can’t get through the day. And my sweet, gentle God has provided His presence in abundance, through which I am sustained day by day. I have especially clung to two chapters that are providing so much peace: Psalm 16 and Isaiah 54.

This verse in particular has ministered to my soul: “Enlarge the place of your tent and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out, do not hold back, lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.” (Isaiah 54:2) Through this, God has coaxed me gently to enlarge the place of my heart to include this new place and these new people. He has also challenged me to stretch my understanding of who He is. I expect that my perception of who He is is about to expand greatly as I experience Him and His global church in a new culture. I want to enlarge my conception of who He is, to lengthen my cords binding Him down in my mind, all the while strengthening my stakes in faith and love. While being in a new continent has been difficult, it also has been so beautiful to experience God in this way, even in the first week! What a good God He is, who meets me where I am, even in my ethnocentrism and confusion. I can’t wait to stay here for the next 6 months and keep learning more!

To end this post, I thought I would share a list of answered prayers that I have had even just in the past two weeks:

1. A negative Covid test to allow me to travel internationally (I tested positive for Covid 48 hours before departure, and after praying on my knees for healing, tested again the next day and got the results only hours before my flight departed—negative!)

2. I made my connecting international flight even after my first flight got delayed 8 times

3. The Lord has HUMBLED me—something I’ve been praying for consistently for awhile. I literally can’t do anything without His help here.

4. Tangible signs that God loves me and sees me (I wrote in my journal that I felt unseen and asked God to show me that He sees me, and the next day 3 different people on the team approached me and shared that they felt God was telling them to tell me that He sees me, which is just crazy and amazing)

5. God has daily provided pockets of physical space and time for silence and solitude with Him, even while sharing a room and a small building with multiple other women.

6. Direction for which area of emphasis to choose in my discipleship training school (I generally ask anyone and everyone for advice and guidance, but here, I only have the Lord, and He is a good Counselor!)

Some ongoing prayer requests I have are:

1. That I may become a better listener, quicker to listen than to speak (Proverbs 18:2)

2. More humility, less judgment

3. Intimacy in my new friendships here

4. Direction for my future, and peace in the waiting

5. Increased love for this place, these people